Hands shaky, sweaty nose.  The aberration from the principles creates a sudden sensation of anxiety.  Like a tourist who walked off the main strip to find himself lost in the slumps that hide beneath glamour presented by the beckoning surface.  I tried yelling “I’m lost!” with as much force the diaphragm could produce.   My mind racing, trying to win a race that has no finish line.  I yelled at the phone, no signal.  If only there were a map with the topography measured so I could find higher ground to look down at the paths that I’ve walked. Maybe on the next block I should deviate to the right, or is it a left?  Can’t navigate with the stars since the light pollution of a hectic city covers the sky with a mist of desperation.  Amnesia, I don’t even recall whether if I started off with a companion.  Regardless, I steadily trot hoping that the next street serves as a reference point, a way to know if the direction is correct.  Nevertheless, all these intersections look alike.  People stare because my face has a frustrated appearance, I can feel their glimmering eyes like fingers poking at me as if I was the weirdo in the back of the bus and the other children my inspectors.  ”Help me” I whimpered at the woman standing in front of me.  She was offended, her eyes judging my desperation and clueless demand.  ”You see, I was just wondering if you know how to get me…..” she cut me off. “I’m sorry” she remarked while digging in her pockets as if looking for spare change.  She must have confused me for a gypsy. “No, no, I was wondering if….” “No I’m sorry I can’t help you.” she said firmly grasping her purse tightly to her side.  Her step became agitated ”are you a speed walker?” I questioned with a smile on my face.  She pulled out pepper spray from her purse, I was shocked.  Her hands where trembling trying to assume an assertive position.  ”I’m sorry miss, I didn’t mean to bother you.” I said calmly trying to defuse the situation.  ”No..no…if you don’t get away I’m going to have to call the police.” I turned around and kept walking completely amazed and in awe at what had just occurred.  

I walked in the opposite direction facing her, placing my hands in front of me making motions as if trying to calm her down with a caress of wind.  I’m no Jedi.  She began to sob violently, people began to look in our direction.  A gentleman walks up to her looking at me with violence in his eyes. “Is this man bothering you?”  ”he won’t leave me alone!” she said in mid sob.  ”Wait, this is a misunderstanding, you see I’m lost and I was asking her for directions.” “Sure you were” he replied in an assertive sarcasm.  ”No really, but it’s okay I’ll just mind my own business” I said.  He kept approaching me, I held my hands up and said.  ”This situation is getting out of control, lets relax and analyze this.” I said with a shake in my voice. “oh yeah, there’s nothing to analyze here..” he lunged at me.  His fist making contact with my chin I was taken back by the paroxysm.  I fell to the ground and the man’s company surrounded me quickly and began to kick me, defeating me completely as I whimpered and yelled “Stop, please stop!” but the kicks and punches continued.  I heard sirens afar and never in my life had I felt so relieved at hearing that sound. They backed away and I managed to gain my ground, bleeding profusely from my nose and mouth.  The salty bitterness of my own blood brought back memories of middle school, getting punked for gifting a smile to an unknown passer by.   

The police arrived and got out of their vehicles gun in hand “Everybody, put your hands up” yelled the officer.  By the tone of his voice and delivery he sounded nervous; a rookie I thought.  I was trying to stop the bleeding with my hands when I reached for a handkerchief inside my right pocket. He said “STOP” and I could see everybody in the street focused on me, as the men consoled the lady.  A thunderous applause followed, the crowd gave standing ovations.  I was standing on a stage with the spot light blinding my sight.  Retrospect. I hit the ground and the screams of the audience suddenly turned cold. Paralyzed, sudden attempts at breathing, tears falling down my cheek, another shot fired.  It hit my pelvic region breaking my bones.  Slowly blinking and my thoughts slowing in pace, I heard the pounding steps of the military issued size 10 boots of the officer approaching me.  I looked at him as he reached with one had to his radio and said. “Suspect, down.” I looked over at the crowd of people watching me bleed and cry.  My vision getting blurry but I managed with my last bit of breath to say “I’m lost….” Fade to black.